If you die in college, do you die in real life?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
