belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
