I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize