I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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