Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
