i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
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I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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