Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
