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pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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