I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Do you remember whose house we're in?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize