I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
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