Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
