I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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