Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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