My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
whose parrot is this?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
