I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
