umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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