Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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