Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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