I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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