The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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