Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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