You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
