please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
