That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize