We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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