I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
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I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
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He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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