When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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