I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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