im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
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