Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
