Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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