Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
