Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Randomize
