sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize