U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
