I think I died a long time ago.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
please come you make the beer taste better
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My bed smells like the plague
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
