I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
