i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
