and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
