whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
