Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
