my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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