grandma shit on top of the toilet
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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