would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Randomize
