your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
