i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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