They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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