I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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