so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Randomize
