im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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