everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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