if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
