ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
These tits shall not be calmed
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
