I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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