I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
