I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
