ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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