I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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