worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
