There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
