Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
well you can't waste a boner
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
