i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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